3 things to consider before officially separating

The overwhelm that comes with the prospect of separation, can make it hard to know what to do. If you are on the brink of separation, here are a few things you might want to consider:

Is there any hope for our relationship or have we exhausted all the possibilities for sorting it out?

I have worked with a number of clients who had a change of heart midway through their divorce negotiations and decided to reconcile. In many more cases, things were said and done post separation which meant that even if there had been hope early on of reconciliation, the couple reached a point of no return. Help from a marriage therapist is key to resolving the issues that may have brought you to the brink of divorce. If therapy ultimately can’t save the relationship, the engagement of the therapist can still be useful in helping you approach the end of their relationship on good terms.

Should I be seeing a lawyer now? 

Once you’ve made the decision to separate, it’s valuable to see a lawyer to get a proper understanding of the law and the path that lies ahead. Proper advice can minimise the chances of making costly emotional or financial mistakes. It is not uncommon, for people to meet with a lawyer even before they have had the final conversation with their partner about the relationship being over. Rather than viewing seeing a lawyer as an aggressive move, it can in fact reduce conflict moving forward by understanding the process and your options.

Who can help me through this process?

Divorce can be an incredibly stressful period in life. Enlisting a team of people around you to support you will make the process that much easier. Professionals you may look to hire in addition to a lawyer, are a therapist, divorce coach and financial adviser. Ensuring you reach out to dependable and supportive friends and family members is also important. Going it alone is rarely the best option.

If you are going through a separation/break-up and want to know more about divorce coaching and how I can support you during this period, please reach out here.